Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones

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Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine, and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried about all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus

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Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,
Tim Jones

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Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well, that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,
S Claus

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Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHATEVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

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Listen, Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake.” Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh*t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

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Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.

Timmy

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Timmy,

That’s what I thought – you little b@stard.

Santa=

Page 14 – “Life is a journey, a journey that only lasts a short time. Yet each of us has the freedom to shape this journey, and to great extent, we can mold it to our liking. The key is to focus on the things we can meaningfully affect and to spend as little as possible trying to change those things we cannot control.”

To All in the University Community:

Over the course of the last several weeks we have lost good friends, fellow students, work associates and family members. The ending of life is an abstract concept with which most of us have difficulty, particularly when death occurs prematurely and when its hardships face us so frequently and in such a short period of time. It is painful to be separated from those we know and love. Our emotions are numbed, our sensibilities are challenged and for some, our faith might even be tested. We have more questions than answers. We feel vulnerable and though we humans are resilient creatures, capable of outliving our heartbreaks, it is nevertheless, so hard to move on.

So where do we take comfort and what do we do? Well, as a family would, we should first reach out to those most immediately touched by the departure of a loved one and offer our support in coping with the loss. We should look for those in need and we should lend a hand. There is no best way to do this. Just make the effort your own way – it will be appreciated.

Building memories, reviewing times together, creating personal memorials such as photo collections, special music, a particular event may help us treasure the experiences we shared with people who meant so much to us. Doing these things with friends will be especially rewarding.

While we all need our own time to grieve, we should talk over our feelings with our friends rather than retreating to our inner selves, and we should invite others to talk about how they are feeling as well. If you need some help with this there are professional counselors on our campus who are trained to assist in these troubling times. Reach out to them. They are amazing people who care about you.

In a university community we have people of many faiths and beliefs. If we have deep conviction we can trust in the teachings of that faith and hopefully derive some sense of understanding and peace from even the most devastating losses. Turning to our spiritual leaders can offer comfort.

As we always seem to do, rely on each other. We work and study in a nurturing and supportive university filled with caring people ready to volunteer and help. If you need help call on them, if you are ready to help, offer. Given the accidental nature of several of the recent deaths, I urge you to watch out for each other’s safety. When I was twenty I thought I was invincible. That sense of security while enabling is simply false. Have fun, experience new things, but be careful and use good judgment when it comes to your own safety and that of your friends.

Next week we celebrate Thanksgiving. Let’s take advantage of this time to be thankful for the time we have shared with those we have now lost. Be thankful for the friendships we currently have and for the ones that are yet to be developed. Be thankful for your JMU family and your immediate family – hold them close and appreciate them. Be thankful for the many aspects of life that we take for granted and seldom value until they are no longer available to us. Say a prayer for those in need and a prayer of thanksgiving for those you have around you.

When my own mother passed away a few years ago, a good friend and fellow university president sent the following statement to me. It is attributed to Henry Scott Holland, professor of divinity, Oxford University. It offered inspiration and comfort to me. Perhaps it will do the same for you.

“Death is nothing at all – I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you always used. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without the ghost of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant… There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you – for an interval – somewhere near just around the corner. All is well.”

Linwood H. Rose
President
James Madison University
November 16, 2011

Earlier today I was stressing out about 2 tests I have on Thursday. “Seriously these tests could really make or break my GPA by .4!!!! Dammit this is ridiculous; .4 of my G.P.A. It’s the end of the world if I do bad!”

That’s what was going through my mind earlier today and I know others we’re along the same line. I get it, stress is apart of life; but in reality, who gives a shit. Live life. You only live once #yolo.

Late last night, JMU lost another student. Another young lady that had a full life ahead of her. It gets you thinking; life is short. You wake up and you just run through your daily routine and think to yourself, “there’s always tomorrow.” But is there really?

A lot of people are going to be writing blog posts/tweets/statuses/etc. so I’ll get my point across. Call your parents/siblings/friends/secret crushes and tell them that you love them. You never know when it’s your time or theirs. Don’t be too proud, just do it.

I hear a ton of kids complain (including myself) day after day that they have too much work to do. Days like tomorrow, I have two mid-terms. So today I need to manage my time and figure out a schedule where I can effectively study for both. It’s a fact that one would do better if there was only a single test to study for. So here’s my proposal:

For most colleges, classes run for 50 minutes M/W/F and 65 minutes on T/TH; semesters usually run for 15 weeks. So over the course of a semester, you’ll sit in a class for 37.5 hours. To make it easy, let’s round it to 40 hours.

So per class, we need to sit in the class room for 40 hours over the course of 3 weeks (15 weeks in a semester/5 classes). If we go all 15 days, Monday-Friday, we will sit in class for 2 hours and 40 minutes (40 hours / 15 days). Now on average, kids go to class for a out 2 hours a day anyways, so its not that crazy.

By doing this, you get to focus on one class for 3 straight weeks, rather than juggling 5 classes over the course of 15 weeks. Focusing on 1 class at a time will increase grades, along with students gaining more in-depth knowledge.

Critics may say that juggling 5 classes teaches students time-management skills. They’d be right, but if you’ve made it to college, you should have already acquired those skills. You go to college to learn. I believe this would be the most effective way to do so.

Thoughts?

Great time Ted, appreciate the amazing seats!

CAPS 2-1

Links

http://www.tedstake.com/

Steve

It’s only right that I address the trending topic of Steve Jobs. Yesterday, we lost the greatest visionary of our time. Not only did he leave behind one of the greatest companies of all time, he left some of the greatest quotes behind as well.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
Steve Jobs, 1955 — 2011
Stanford Commencement Address

Pretty much, Steve was the man. If you haven’t read his bio, especially his earlier days, I suggest you read up on it. We’ll miss you bud.

Mapachat

Ok so on the topic of my company Mapachat. I’ll be the first to say that the company had been on a roller coster ride. We’ve been in development mode for the past few months, so not much activity has gone on. We will be launching our vision in the next few weeks, which I’ll keep you updated as info rolls in.

@TheGrowthGuy

Verne Harnish, one of my mentors, is a genius when it comes to growth in companies. When I post in the future, I may refer to him, so I also encourage you to check him out as well.

Links

At the end of every post, I’ll leave a few links for you to check out. Today is:

Inspirational

So my uncle recently hired me to work for him at his air conditioning company, until I figure out the next steps with my start-up. The job pays really well, but I have a few other reasons on why it’s the greatest job in the world.

1) I get to go to bed at 9 p.m. and get to wake up at 4 a.m. Who wouldn’t love to do this? It throws off your sleep schedule and when you get off work, all you want to do is crash. If you have to lift afterwards, you get to slack off the whole time. If you’re anyone but myself, you’ll probably be pretty grumpy as well, which will then cause others to stress out. So, that’s perk #1.

2) Perk #2 would have to be the commute. Sitting in the car for 40 minutes, listening to Jason (Lurch – misspelled?) from The Junkies creeping on younger girls, never gets old. Crappy drivers who drive slow and aren’t sure how to use their blinkers, is beyond fun.

3) The next benefit of the job would definitely be the work conditions. We have the opportunity to work in a 90 degree building, sawing pipe out of the walls. Insulation falling all over your skin making you itchier than itchy. It’s literally a dream job work place.

4) It only makes sense that one would eat at 9 a.m. right? Well you have the privilege to do so here. Eating lunch for 12 minutes, at 9 a.m., drenched in insulation, the excitement is unreal.

5) Lastly, another privilege is granted to you by allowing you to work on Saturday’s. Instead of sleeping in after a week of hard work, let’s wake up one last time at 4 a.m. and leave it all out on court.

So as you can see, this job has all it’s perks. Who wouldn’t want this?

All joking aside, I do have to thank my uncle for giving me this job. I do need the money and it does pay well, so thanks.

Anyone else have fun jobs?

As I sit here watching “Undercover Boss,” an idea popped in my head. The show is all about pointing out how corporate is out of touch with their first line employees. Some may say that it’s normal because there are thousands of employees and it would be unreasonable to even think about taking the time to hear what they have to say. These are the employees that work first-hand with your products, so they know it best. There needs to be some sort of direct channel between the corporate office and their employees.

If someone out there knows about a system that I’m about to describe, please shoot me a note. If there isn’t and you know how to develop and would be interested in building it, shoot me a note as well:

Mobile technology is everything these days. I propose an application be built, customized case by case, for large companies, to connect the two parties. It would be simple. Every employee would be given a user ID and password, so the corporate office could track who is sending what. Employees could log-in at any time and post their thoughts on how to improve the company. All the posts would then be sent to an inbox, where a team of executives would them review what all the employees are saying. If I was in the corporate office, I would higher a team specifically for this program. Then they would filter out the ‘best’ ideas, and hand them directly to the C level executives.

You can’t put any amount of money on employee feedback. Like I said before, these are the guys that know the product best and how to improve it. Executives need to listen to their employees, not their egos, and this could be the tool to do so.

Let’s get your thoughts.